Forgive me, I’ve had two glasses of wine.<\/p>\n
I wonder if my teeth are they were in Ohio–purple and smiling. \u00a0I drank a lot of wine that summer in Ohio and I became very accustomed to that drunk: a wine drunk, rich with joy and forgetfulness, very different from the torrents of drunk I would have from Gin and Orange Juice. \u00a0Of course, I was in love both times and was probably trying to escape something; or, I was young, or both.<\/p>\n
I had a plan tonight: Call my sister, Kelly, and pose a question; here’s how I think it would have gone:<\/p>\n
“Kelly, ask me what I love more than anything besides friends and family.”<\/p>\n
Kelly would be chasing a kid or peeling a potato or just simply living the American dream and would not know, or pretend not to know.<\/p>\n
“Books. \u00a0That’s what.” \u00a0And she would say, “Ah, yea, I could have guessed that.” But could she have? \u00a0Growing up, I didn’t read much. \u00a0Sure, I had the Roald Dahl fascination, but I was mostly concerned with the way books lined up on a shelf, the way they added up to something as a whole and what it might have meant to have read all of them. \u00a0I remember sitting up at night in my friend Craig’s room, looking up in his closet at the shelf above his clothes. \u00a0There was a whole line of books and it was rife with adult classics and I assumed he just must have read all of these and I was in awe. \u00a0I said, there’s no way I’ve read this many books and he just kind of laughed–Craig had it figured out–and said, sure I have. \u00a0Well, I think Craig was wrong, but he had good intentions.<\/p>\n
When I need a break at work, I go into a small room with a built in desk and kick off my shoes and put them up and adjust my sitting posture and open up a book and read. \u00a0The world goes on outside and it’s not like I can’t hear it, I can. \u00a0But I can ignore it or soak it up or even appreciate it, in those moments.<\/p>\n
I want to read all of Sue Grafton’s Alphabet novels. \u00a0These started in 1982 with “A is for Alibi” all the way up to “V is for Vengence” which I think came out in the last few years–that’s something, that series. \u00a0Mystery novels with the same detective, but I would like to be a completist and read them all. \u00a0Of course, I own all of the Sherlock Holmes stories and novels, I suppose I could begin there. \u00a0If it’s good enough for the BBC, then it’s fucking good enough for me!<\/p>\n
My therapist said an interesting word to me the other day: “projection”. \u00a0I had heard it so many times, but never in connection with my behavior and it explained so very much!<\/p>\n
I should be volunteering to help tutor kids to write.<\/p>\n
I am off to bed, for now. \u00a0A diary entry on here–who knew? \u00a0I sure as hell didn’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Forgive me, I’ve had two glasses of wine. I wonder if my teeth are they were in Ohio–purple and smiling. \u00a0I drank a lot of wine that summer in Ohio and I became very accustomed to that drunk: a wine … Continue reading